One of the things that I found interesting in discussion this week was the adjustments a couple will face in marriage. Budgeting was a huge one that I think will be difficult to adjust to. Budgeting money is one that came to my mind, but someone brought up the time you will have to budget as well. Whether its work, school, cars, recreation or time spent together.
Another things we discussed was children and how children change the marriage. I think that is going to be a very difficult transition - going from having your full focus on one another to so much focus on your child. There was a study done that showed that men generally perceive their wife to be more disagreeable after they had children. In actuality women were more agreeable after children. Why then would the men think this? One theory we came up with in class was that after children are born women tend to have a lot less time to care for and nurture their husband - so the husband feels less important and "second best" now. The wife can feel very overwhelmed in this situation with trying to balance both the role of a wife and the role of a mother. If not communicated as a couple this can cause tension and feelings of isolation in both the husband and the wife.
How do we avoid this?
One thing my teacher shared was that his wife tried to share every experience she had with him. If the baby kicked she would have him feel it. She had him at all the doctor appointments and after the children were born included him in as many activities with them as she could. At first he thought she was just being demanding - but after realized how divine her actions were. It kept them close as a couple and certainly close as a family.
If you have any advice on changes when you were married/had a child please comment :)
Another things we discussed was children and how children change the marriage. I think that is going to be a very difficult transition - going from having your full focus on one another to so much focus on your child. There was a study done that showed that men generally perceive their wife to be more disagreeable after they had children. In actuality women were more agreeable after children. Why then would the men think this? One theory we came up with in class was that after children are born women tend to have a lot less time to care for and nurture their husband - so the husband feels less important and "second best" now. The wife can feel very overwhelmed in this situation with trying to balance both the role of a wife and the role of a mother. If not communicated as a couple this can cause tension and feelings of isolation in both the husband and the wife.
How do we avoid this?
One thing my teacher shared was that his wife tried to share every experience she had with him. If the baby kicked she would have him feel it. She had him at all the doctor appointments and after the children were born included him in as many activities with them as she could. At first he thought she was just being demanding - but after realized how divine her actions were. It kept them close as a couple and certainly close as a family.
If you have any advice on changes when you were married/had a child please comment :)
RSS Feed