In class this week we were able to research families in different social classes. Research had found the social class you are born into is a very large determiner of what social class you will be in when you start your life. There are people who can move social classes, but this can require a lot of work. This brought us to a very interesting discussion of how we know what class people are in. And the thing it all came down to was judgements. In reality we don't know the specific financial standings of those around us. We put people into different classes based on the size of their house, their toys, the way they hold themselves, the activities they participate in. This really hit me because we really don't know where people are financially and it taught to me that we often judge so poorly. Just because someone has a nice house and a nice car doesn't mean that they are rich, they may be very much in debt. It reassured to me how important it is to not judge unrighteously, as the Savior has taught time and time again.
Something else that we learned about was Genograms. Genograms are basically 4 generation family trees but with information about each family member and patterns that have been passed down. My teacher then brought up some of the teachings of the Bible and specifically in Isaiah when the Lord tells the people that generations of their family will be cursed by their decisions. He commented that he had always thought it was so harsh that the Lord would curse those other generations for one persons decision but when he started studying genograms he was able to see more of what the Lord meant. Heavenly Father knew how families worked and how patterns were passed down from generation to generation unless they were mindfully broken. What patterns are there in your family? Do you want to break them? If you are able to ponder this I

Today we discussed several well known theories about relationships. I will share the one that stuck out to me most. As you read, ponder about the relationships you have had or currently have and try to see where they fall in with the theory I'm presenting. It is surprisingly very interesting!!! So keep reading :)   
The theory I am going to discuss is the Social Exchange Theory. In a few simple words the Social Exchange Theory is the idea "you owe me one". In relationships we all intend to keep our costs lowers than or at least equal to our rewards. Some examples of costs and rewards are: time, money, and emotional or intellectual energy and gratification. No one stays in a relationship where they receive nothing back. Well then you may ask, what about abusive relationships? The theory helps try to explain that as well. 
Many of us know people in abusive relationships and may have asked the question "Why do they stay?". The Social Exchange Theory explains that if the person who is being abused perceives that the rewards of the relationship outweigh the costs (no matter if they do or not) they will stay in that relationship. So in every abusive relationship there is something keeping both of the people there. They both feel that there is some sort of reward or rewards that they are not willing to give up even for the cost (which is abuse). 

So my first class, and what impacted me most from our discussion. First of all, we are all social creatures: we CRAVE intimacy. We crave intimacy and seek for happiness. Many of the ways that we seek to fulfill these needs are through relationships with other people. I believe for the most part every one goes into romantic relationships with very high hopes. Nobody gets married thinking 'We are going to get divorced'. And if they do, they really should not be getting married in the first place.
We discussed some Family Trends that are happening right now in America. One of those trends I found that was very disheartening was that 60-80% of people are now cohabiting before marriage. This is a huge amount of people and I wondered what type of impact cohabiting before marriage has, so I did some research on cohabiting relationships vs marriage relationships.
What is better? Cohabitation before marriage or not?
The results I found were quite remarkable. The New York Times posted an article in April of 2012 about the downside of cohabitation. Many people believe that cohabitation before marriage is a good thing, and we see this through the amount of people nowadays who cohabit. Cohabiting is seen as a way of avoiding the pains that can come with divorce. You can have a 'trial run' relationship without the pains and heartache of divorce. And if you don't end up wanting to stay together there is no commitment to that person, no ball and chain, and things will just be much easier if you cohabit first. Right??
In the New York Times article I found along with many other published works about cohabiting before marriage it states the many negative affects of cohabitation. The first negative affect is caused by the lack of commitment that those who cohabit have. Couples who cohabit before marriage tend to be much less satisfied with their marriage than those who don't. And are also much more likely to divorce than those who do not cohabit. Cohabiting couples have also been found to have higher rates of abuse in the relationship (whether physical, verbal or emotional) than those who are married.
Now I am not saying that cohabitation before marriage always results in divorce, abuse and unhappiness and not cohabiting before marriage is always happy and non-abusive because we know this is not true. But I do believe that much healthier relationships and marriages are derived from not cohabiting before marrying. Marriage is an ordinance ordained of God. Our Heavenly Father has proclaimed the important truths of marriage and family through a living prophet, President Gordon B Hinckley, in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Click 'The Proclamation' button at the top of this page to read more!
Comments or thoughts are welcome!